Monday, December 19, 2005

Survival of the Fittest

So I just finished my last exam of the term and it was my elective - Anthropology. I can now, with 100% certainty say, I have ABSOLUTELY NO sympathy for Artsies. Now by Artsies, I mean those majoring in any one of the following - Social Science, English, History, The Social Science of English and History, Music, Art, etc.

Lemme explain my comment with a hilarious example...

Typical thoughts floating through an engineer's head during the day before an exam (we'll say held at 2pm and lasting 2.5 hours; OH and we're assuming this course is in the medium range of difficulty):

10 am: Oh man, I'm so tired, studying til 1am and getting up at 8am, so tiring. Luckily, I'm an engineer and have been studying throughout the semester, so no all nighters for me! Hey look, some fellow engineers, I think I'll go sit with them and do some last minute prep before this exam.

11am: CHRIST ALMIGHTY! WHY DIDN'T I PULL AN ALL NIGHTER? THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHEAR AND BEARING? CLASS...FOUR?! WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME FELLOW ENGINEER WHOSE NAME I DON'T KNOW AND DON'T PLAN ON REMEMBERING AFTER SKULE IS DONE WITH!?

12pm: Phew...Glad I got through that section, can't believe I forgot about section 7-9, oh well, it's in there now. Man I wish I could write this exam now...I still have that other one tomorrow and the next one in two days. Oh well, just review section 7-9 now and you'll be fine, you'll be fine.

1pm: GOD DAMN IT! SECTION 12 IS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER TOO!? WHERE WAS I DURING ALL OF THIS?!....OH RIGHT, ASLEEP, FUCKING PROF'S SOOTHING, LULABY-LIKE VOICE. Alrite, still have an hour, just do a quick review and pray it's not an intergral part of the exam...

1:30pm: Son of a bitch! Section 12 ISN'T on the exam? Goddamn! Alrite, let's get to the room, and get some last minute cramming in.

1:59pm: So shear and bearing AREN'T the same? Thanks student whose name I don't know, but say hello to all the time; you saved me.

Exam begins....

2:00pm: HA! Got my name and student number DOWN! Can't tell me I'm wrong on that fuckers!

2:01pm: Question 1 seems fair enough...

2:02pm: Question 2 seems ok, cept for this part, but I'm sure I'll get it

2:03pm: Question 3 - section 7-9 better do this one first

2:33pm: Christ that took a while but good thing it's done...wait a minute, ah fuck, it's braced...

3:03pm: Good that shit is done! Damn, only 1.5 hours left, gotta do 1 and 2 first!

3:47pm: Alritey, now if I focus, 4 and 5 can be done, 45 minutes left, plenty of time, PLENTY!

3:48pm: *Mental Note - ask TA and confirm that Question 4 is written in english*

3:49pm: QUESTION 5 IS ABOUT SECTION 12!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU NAMELESS STUDENT, DAMN YOU!!!! Alrite, time to pull something outta my ass.

4:17pm: Lalalala - Moment that, Shear this, Bracing? HELL YA! So deflection is 4.7 metres? Well let's tweek some numbers here - there we go, deflection is 0.00047 nanometers - excellent!

4:18pm: DAMNATION - what in holy hell does he want in question 4!?

4:27pm: When in doubt calculate moment. Done, now class check all the way - yaaaaaaaaay, class 1, that's good right?

4:30pm: *Announcement from TA - THE EXAM IS OVER PUNY MORTALS!* Alritey and the final answer - 5678 bolts, it'll have to do.

THIS is a regular thought process for every engineer that retains some sort of social life. After this exam, we then go on to see what other programs are available at U of T and see what are options are, just in case. Nursing supposedly is really amazing; and I guess one could always be a teacher...

NOW, lemme explain my thought process during my Anthropology (NON-engineering) Exam and studying prep:

December 13th, 4:47pm: YAAAAAAAY, done my last engineering exam, gonna take a few days break and then just read through my notes for anthro, it's on the 19th at 7pm, so I have lots of time - so much to memorize...

December 17th, 1:25pm: Alrite, just a few more levels of Warcraft and then some serious anthro....

December 17th, 3:31pm: Geez, I'm tired, I'm gonna watch some tv, and then after church, STRAIGHT to anthro, wont even turn on my computer.

December 17th, 6:30pm: Alrite, gonna check my email but that's it - wait...what's this? JAMIE! I haven't talk to him since, since, since yesterday - I wonder what he's been up to...

December 17th, 7:45pm: Oh that Jamie - alrite, enough dilly dallying, anthro...

December 17th, 9:15pm: Wow this stuff is boring - nothing like the discovery channel, but yay, I memorized the authrolapithicines - That's enough for today, GOOOOOOOO STUDYING!

December 18th, 12:06pm: Time to get this anthro and archeology crap in my head...

December 18th, 1:17pm: I'm bored - time for a movie!

December 19th, 11:00am: Good thing this exam is at 7pm, time for a nice long study session and I'm at school, no distractions....

December 19th, 12:01pm: WHY OH WHY did they leave the computer labs operating...

December 19th, 5:30pm: So I've eaten, looked over past exams, read through my notes at least once, sorta, I should be good - hey look whose on MSN, Andrew, haven't talked to him in a while....

December 19th, 7:07pm: *Alrite everyone, turn your pages over and begin* FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

December 19th, 7:29pm: This can't be...the questions are the same as the 2004 midterm...like 80% of this I know from glimpsing over a past midterm...YOU MOTHER #$$^%#%&#%^$%$^ breathe easy Darek - just remember this all for your blog...

December 19th, 7:49pm: I feel so strange...I had two hours to do that exam...I was done in 25 minutes...I'm on the subway back home...there is a strange calm in the air...

I finished that exam in 25 minutes and gave myself 9 minutes to re-check my answers - I was done in 34 minutes... NO SYMPATHY ARTSIES, NONE!!!!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Darek...you just got lucky with a Prof who re-uses old exams? What if you didn't have those past exams, you still think you would have finished in 34 minutes?

*shrugs* just a question.

NOT to say that engineering isn't HARD cuz we all know it is. But yeah. But I'm pretty sure that not alll artsie exams are or will be like that.

ok hehe...

SEE YOU LATER DAREK!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Darek/Darciu/Dariusz said...

I'm sorry, engineering arrogance prohibits me from answering the questions :P

It was just an observation, I study my ass for engineering exams and still do shitty - I barely study for an artsy exam and rock it

Anonymous said...

hahahah...that was really funny. i can't belive you finished your artsie exam in 34 minutes.

your enginnering pre-exam comments are so accurate. ahhh....no more exams until april. thankgoodness!

-j.l.

Anonymous said...

totally rite! i live in an arts residence but am a chem eng and i get soooo jealous of my floor mates. they have absolutely NOTHING to do all year round except bullshit essays out of their asses!