California is on the cusp of doing something really, really remarkable. Oh wait, it has already done something truly remarkable – it’s letting the gays get married. Awesome possum. A civil marriage can be done in as little as five minutes with an officiate and a few witnesses so that couples who have been together for 15, 20, 30 years can just “get it over with” because well, they’re approaching the age where their partner may need them to be their power of attorney and make difficult decisions for them if they are not in the right mind to do so. Think about that for a second, loving someone so much you’ll let them decide whether or not you should be kept on life support or if a radical new procedure should be tried on you in the hopes to save your life. Straight people get this right the second they are married (legally), gay people have to beg, plead, hope their partner’s family is accepting of them, and pray they are not in an anti-gay state or city so that a hospital will have some compassion on them and allow them to see their dying partner in the last minutes of their life. This is not fair.
So I thought I was done my ranting and raving about how it’s completely idiotic to deny marriage to two people because they are the same gender after my beautiful country said “yeah Darek, you’re right, my bad” and allowed me to get hitched. But with our own federal election coming up, talks that the conservative government may bring back the same-sex marriage debate (again!) and fears that we may get a majority conservative government – it’s time, once again to slap idiots in the face via my blog and show them they are wrong for thinking the way they do – and awaaaaaaay we go!
www.iprotectmarriage.com is the latest initiative by the religious-right pretending to simply be conservative minded people to get young people to vote yes on Prop 8 – the legislation that would ban same-sex marriage in California. The site is completely full of shit but I found great joy in their “decide for yourself” quiz which asks eight questions about whether or not gays should be allowed to get married. If your answer agrees with the nonsense they spew, you get a pop up of a young person telling you “good for you” and a scary “fact” to hit the point home that gays will eat your babies and dance in the river of blood that will flood your suburban streets when you allow a gardener and an interior designer the right to file a tax return together. If your answer has common sense then you are berated and asked stupid questions that don’t really relate to the issue at hand.
Here are the questions:
1. Should two people who love each other have the right to get married?
If you answer yes, ugly dude and girl with weird nose comes and asks if they have the right to marry their mothers or sisters or fathers because they love them. As soap operas have shown us for decades, there is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. Also gay-marriage isn’t about polygamy, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia, it’s about gay-marriage, allowing two consenting adults to conduct their lives as they wish in a legal manner.
The funny thing is, if you answer no, you essentially get the same response from ugly dude and girl with weird nose, but with a different word here and there. Instead of “I love my mom, but does that mean I can marry her if I wish?” you get “Right. I love my mom, but that doesn’t mean I can marry her if I wish”
It’s also the sneaky tactic of the questioning – the question itself doesn’t address the issue at hand – can any two people get married if they wish? Of course not, what if one is dead and the other a child? What if they both have the same parents? These situations (which have nothing to do with homosexuality and gay rights) are illegal and wrong. Being gay and wanting the country you pay taxes to, to recognize that, isn’t wrong.
2. Is it fair that judges can overturn the majority vote of the people?
Short hand answers – if you say no, you can get a thumbs up from brown dude, if you say yes, he asks “what’s the point of voting then?”
3. Do you think it’s fair to teach a first grader the alternative lifestyle?
Short answer – if you say yes, sorrowful Chinese lady comes with sorrowful Chinese voice and warns about the dangers of telling first graders there are gays amongst us; if you answer no, she tells you you’re right and then uses another scare-fact-tactic telling you of the horrors that some first graders ARE told that there are gays among us.
But again it’s the fear and banking on that young people are stupid that this website is trying to strike it rich with. Prove them wrong young people of Cali, prove them wrong!
4. Do you think its discrimination for a church to refuse to marry a gay couple?
If you answer no, preacher brown man comes up and says “absolutely right, we’re just practicing our religious right to blah blah blah” and if you answer yes he essentially calls you a hypocrite and blah blah blah.
Gay people want LEGAL recognition of marriage. Not religious-recognized marriage. We never have. If a church won’t marry us, we most likely won’t be part of that church or push to get married in that church. It’s entirely different if the church itself brings up the issue because it’s doing so from questions being thrown its way en masse.
I always think of this argument like one of those awful sitcoms sketches where the gay character says he’s not interested in the straight character and then the straight character is kinda offended because he thinks he’s the shit so what’s wrong with him that a gay dude doesn’t wanna perform a Spanish lawnmower on him? Really churches, it’s not you, it’s us, you’re just not our type…*awkward silence*
5. Is it fair for schools to teach the consequences of the heterosexual way of life but not the alternative lifestyle?
I can’t really give you a short hand answer to picking yes or no because I can’t tell what the political-right answer is. But the contradictions present in this question are outstanding. So we shouldn’t be teaching kids about gay people but we should be teaching them about the STD’s gay people can catch? How will kids know what diseases/infections gay people can catch if they don’t know what gay people are?
6. Do you think its “okay” to say that same-sex marriage is wrong?
If you say yes, Asian looking girl pops up really quickly and says “you’re awesome, neither do I; we’re all entitled to our own opinion”. If you say no, you would think that the exact same response would pop up, but instead you get Asian looking girl asking if it was “love” when a GLBT director of an AIDS organization referred to AIDS as a gay disease and that loving someone means to warn them.
7. Some Prop 8 supporters preach about Jesus and God’s love isn’t it hypocritical to be against two people in love getting married?
If you say yes, Filipina pops up and says, very sorrowfully, “if you’re going to bring Jesus into this…” – OH NO HO’! I didn’t bring Jesus into anything, YOU asked ME. Anyways she continues on to say that Jesus told people to love God, which means to tell people to obey God (the Christian God of course, that silly Vishnu or Allah nonsense doesn’t mean a thing) and by bringing someone into your life, it’s your job (according to Jeebus) to help them obey God. She ends with saying Jesus says marriage was meant for one man and one woman and thats how we can obey God. But the thing is…he never said that. I’m going by the King James version, you know, the first version to be translated into English. Now I think the Bible is full of crap and due to it’s many, many re-translations, you can’t really trust what it says (but it’s cool that it tells people to just chill and love each other and God, I guess) but Jesus, according to the King James version (in the New Testament), never ONCE mentions a word about homosexuality.
8. Do you think the struggle for interracial marriages in the 50’s and 60’s are equal to the struggle of same-sex marriage today?
So American Californian youth, sit back and look, really, really look at the state of the world, at Massachusetts, at Vermont, at Canada, at the Netherlands, at Spain and see if their societies have been destroyed or if up is down or if God has destroyed them and think, really think, that perhaps what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes is their business and none of yours and how utterly offensive it is for them to now have to ask (read: beg) you to let them go about their lives. Be part of a history that makes positive change in the society you will only be a part of for 80 years; it’s the only way to ensure your immortality.