Sunday, December 31, 2006

What a Day

I'm going to tell you about how I spent December 30th, starting at 12 AM. Why? I have no clue, but I've never wanted to write in my lil bloggy more than right now and it's hard to resist the urge.

So where was I at 12AM? I was at Gabi's shooter party in the E-dot, getting shot at by grandma's, because we all know Etobicoke and Mississauga are soooooooo different, right Jen?

Anyways, had a blast with Gabi, Heather, Andrea, Melinda, Felicia, Rian, Joy, Jen C (who you callin' bitch, bitch?!) and and and...damn it, I thought I had this time - oh wells, better luck next time, right ladies :)

So after my screw driver and few shots at Gabi's, I took it slow cause I was driving and by 3 we were ready to go, Jen was "presentable" and offering me sex to bring her to a McDonalds while Brendan told me he approved of Travis and feels he's "good for me" and "special". Oh drunk talk, sweet sweet drunk talk. Side note - I LOVE drunk Brendan, he needs to come out more.

"You don't say it enough" he says to me, in a whisper. And no, Jamie does not think you're gay. FUCK!

So, waiting in the drive through line at McDonalds was fun, in front of me was the van full of uggie club girls, that didn't move, even after they ordered, because they were waiting for their friend to come back from the gas station, peeing. Like she's not gonna be able to find you...

And behind me, a car full of "bad ass" flip guys (Conrad??) shouting and hollering at the car full of girls behind them.

After being told that Mickies didnt have beef or fish and only had junior chicken sandwiches - correction ONE junior chicken sandwich - we settled on that and were on our way home.

Didn't fall asleep til about 4:33 AM, that was the last time I remember seeing before falling asleep. Woke up at 10:00 AM to pee and then again at 11:30 AM - I was done sleeping apparently. Not feeling the greatest and trying to find the words to tell Travis that I really don't want to go clubbing but conflicted because I wanted to see my man; I decided I would clean the bathroom and wait for his call.

I decide to go clubbing, seeing Travis is more important than knowing the crap ass time I'll probably have a straight club (yeah breasts! I know man, did you see her ass? Mmmmmm love the smell of vadge!) Then my dear aunt Marisha comes over! I don't see her that often (she lives in Poland and is the only relative that calls me Dariusz) and she brings her daughter, my cousin, Basia (Ba-sha or Barbara for you whiteys and bleached peoples) and Basia's son, Lukasz, pictured below:
My new nephew everyone! I didn't know about this one! Now I really think my dear grandmother is a little worried about the Sobik family name. I'm most likely not having babies, Daniel I don't see being a father and if he is, he's going down the path of being one of those father that hires nannies and names his children Pashmina and Madison. I mean he just got a blackberry everyone...
Out of my four nephews (on my dad's side) Adrien, Oskar, Alex and Matthew, only little Matthew has the Sobik name.
It's weird, my dad's side of the family is just good at producing male children - I have 3 female cousins, 0 sisters, but have 2 brothers and 4 male cousins plus myself. And now the second generation is going strong at 4 males to 1 female (little Julianna)
So little Lukasz really really really likes Miss Piggy, brave little guy opened up her cage and went right for her, picked her up and petted her. Squeezed her a little too hard but got the hang of being gentle none the less. Well seeing as this was the first time I was meeting Little Lukasz, I had to cancel on Travis; damn bittersweetness.
So after the rarely seen part of my family up and left, I decided it was time to watch some tv, read some American Gods, and download some Whitney Houston. Just then, my mom comes in, a little tipsy, a rarity for this woman and I download her some Bette Midler (her favourite singer next to Shania Twain) and Shania Twain. I make her listen to Dolly Parton and some Nancy Sinatra. Once again, at 1 in the mourning, me and my mom were listening to music while she was a little tipsy.
I took a shower but before that the best thing to start off the New Year happened! For the past year I've had the biggest zit on my forehead. It's weird, I tried popping it before, and I think in doing so, I cut myself, which caused new skin to grow OVER the zit, making it utterly unpoppable. UNTIL TONIGHT! For some reason, something caught my eye as I was looking at myself in the mirror just before my shower. The unpoppable looking pasty and as I grabbed some toliet paper and wrapped my fingers, I popped with all my might - SUCCESS! It's gone!
Well this only meant that this Year will be the best yet! As I was finishing up my shower, I noticed a spider in the shower, I think it's the same one that I've seen these past couple of days. Instead of pulling a Jamie and killing it with a rage that burns hotter than that of thousand suns, I just smiled at my little guardian and towelled off.
What a day!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Favourite (parts of) Songs!

At a risk of copying Jamie (you just had to put TWO posts about music up, didn't you? I thought, I'll just wait for your next post, you can't accuse me of copying you then...and then you go and copy yourself, just tacky!), I wanted to share with the world a little gift, that might bring some good ole tears of joy to your eyeballs.
I realized that my music tastes don't really define any one particular genre, if it sounds good, I listen to it. Travis' best friend Jim, asked me, during his night long interrogation of me, what kind of music I enjoyed - I told him "mostly alternative, but I like rock and dance too". And it got me thinking - I likes particular parts of songs, I find it particularly hard to find an entire song I enjoy.
So here is a list of songs I adore and specifically time framed parts that I suggest you all download and listen to and cry and stare into the distance and whisper to yourselves "wow Darek is the very definition of brillance" and then hold your hand up, then close it and draw it close to your chest while closing your eyes and nodding up and down slowly...
Colorblind by Counting Crows:
Surprise Surprise - a little bias because it's my favourite song BUT listen to the very middle of the song (while listening to the first half of course) at exactly 1:41. It's a little tricky to catch the point I love but it's right at the end of 1:41 and right at the beginning of 1:42. It's just a slight pause but it's done right in the middle of the song - so it takes your breath away when you think the song is over but it just begins again.
O Holy Night by Celine Dion:
If you dont shed tears at exactly 3 minutes and 15 seconds into the song when Celine sings "Christ is the Lord" you have no soul, period. Those four words last from 3:15 -3:25, the word "Lord" takes her three seconds to sing from 3:22-2:25 and it's the best part of the song, hands down.
Mad World by Gary Jules:
Yes it's the theme song from Donnie Darko - which is a good movie and all "hipster cool" - but it is such a mellow and sad song. With lyrics like "I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" and "Children waiting for the day they feel good, happy birthday happy birthday" so very sad; but beautiful none the less. But listen to the song once and then listen to it again and only this way you can see why I love the part at exactly 1:27 into the song. You think the song is just about to end (knowing you've heard it before) and when it doesn't it's a mixture of happiness (because the song is not over) and a mixture of sadness (because the song is not over).
Stairway to Heaven by Dolly Parton:
I've only heard the define Miss P's variation of this song and quite frankly that's enough - it's beautiful. Again, I may be a little bias because Dolly is one of the few entertainers that deserves her gay icon status, she supports same-sex marriage, gay rights, the whole nine yards and yet she's a devout christian; a perfect example of the word "christian" in my opinion. The song is long at 6 minutes and 31 seconds, but every second is worth it - listen in at exactly 5:06 and the wonder of this part of the song isn't over until 5:27; listen carefully at 5:22-5:27 to "Wanna be a rock and not a roll" and if you don't get what I mean, then I truly pity you. The first time I heard that part it literally took my breathe away - I stopped writing my lab for geomechanics and just sat and listened to the rest of her beautiful rendition of this historic song.
Into Your Hideout by Pilate:
Brendan introduced me to this song and I thank God he did. This song makes me want to drive faster when I hear it on the radio; it makes me want to run faster when I'm jogging; it makes me want to cry harder when I'm crying while listening to it. It just brings out everything you need out that you've pushed in and provides you with a solice you get only when you were a child and received reconciliation at church. Listen carefully at 2:30 - again it's one of those things where it's at the end of 2:30 and the beginning of 2:31 and it just brings you back into the song; brings you back to whatever it is you need to face.
It's Still Too Late by Evermore:
Heard this song at Jamie's and loved it instantly; it's very Pilate-y but not so charged up, to me this is just a nice song to listen to. The main singer's vocals are wicked, the way he says "Hessitate" right at the beginning of the song (end of 0:29 beginning of 0:30) just puts a clever little smile on my face. The all time best part of this song is at 3:13-3:14 - I have no clue what he's saying here but I all I know is I find that clever little smile on my face after hearing it.
Get Together by Madonna:
This song didn't get that much radio time or club time but I think it's her best hit off her newest CD. And oddly enough it's only the beginning and end parts of this song I love the best - the very first words outta her mouth are "Down, down, down in your heart, I find, find, find the secret, turn turn turn your head around, baby we can do it, we can do it all right" and the end "If it's better at the start, then it's sweeter in the end" - I always hear the word "better" as "bitter" and sing it that way when I hear it.
Hope you're all looking off into the distance now and understanding the wonder that is *whispers* Darek...

Monday, December 04, 2006

And the Competition Comes to a Close (sorta)...

So a couple months ago, me and my dear friend Robyn got into a little contract about America's Next Top Model Cycle 7, we each picked 6 girls and the one remaining was given to our dear friend Carolyn...

Well the finale is almost upon us, so I thought I'd go back and pick out those few pictures (because these photo shoots have been truly heinous and dull) that stood out and were actually superb. Enjoy!

Ladies and gentlemen I give you this cycle's "Girl Who Got Mad-Shafted". Megan was fucking PERFECTION, except for one flaw, she's 23. But this picture was so damn good. The over-exaggeration of divadom (is there such a thing?) is perfect here, the body language, the look on her face, the stupid little mut of a dog - all very perfect.
Megan, maybe it was better this way, I mean you avoided the Tyra speech of:
"Megan, in this industry your looks are everything and even though air-brushing will ALWAYS be around and even though models that are 40+ are still doing work and looking like they're in their 20's, that only comes with experience!"

I know, I know, I'm agreeing with the judges - but this is a fabulous photo! It's very "editorial" (still dont really know what that means, but can you tell that? nope!) and has almost an artistic side to it. I mean it does address the issue of bulimia nervosa and it's actually shocking.
Kay, I'm gonna be a HUGE prick here but...don't bulimics usually throw up into a toliet?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that's the "actually" speaking, not Darek!

This picture is just funny. It's so typical "Dumb Blond" it's ridiculous! But I love it! Here legs go on forever, end bent and hidden behind a hug book, the big hair, the doe-y eyes and look of pseudo-concentration but just looking really pretty - I FUCKING LOVE YOU CARIDEE!!!!! - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that was the passion talking...
But a phenomenonal start to say the least!

Then... Alot of stuff didn't happen, really, all the photo shoots were pretty dull and boring, until Tyra came to save the day... and I feel sick for actually saying that...

We'll start with my least favourites - it's not so much scary as it is "You know that feeling when you wake up in a bus station with a condom in your ear?!"

One eye looks sorta normal and the other looks like she got cut in a fight over who gets to own here at the Women's Correctional Facility...

Not bad for a Sara Rue look-a-like but still nothing great. I mean now she's sporting Lebanese sideburns and her neck has minor fat-rolls - THAT'S why she's scary.

Eugena looks more confused than scary. Here's something that'll make this picture that much more scary, thanks to Travis:

Everyone, look in a little closer at the picture, now imagine Eugena saying this, in a whispy, almost molestery voice:

"Hi, my name is Eugena, I'm hear to WAAAASSSHHHH yo' vagina"

Fucking terrifying no?!?!?!

It's not so much scary but what I see when I see this pic is one of two possible outcomes - Anchal's either done something or is about to do something. It's that raised eyebrow, I'm sucker for them, it's my weakness I know, this picture looks more devious than scary...

Also it looks like she has one ear, what the fuck?! THAT'S scary!

Now we all know how much I hate trannies - MAKE UP YOUR MINDS! - but I learned to love Jaeda, once she got her hair cut, she actually looked like a model.

And this picture is just ripe with versatility

why you may ask

if Jaeda can look this good while looking so bad and still look like this

You found yourself America's Next Top Model - DONT GROW YOUR HAIR OUT!

Damn you Mel-Ho, this is actually a pretty good picture! Not so much bus-stop-condam-in-ear and more so, scary crawler from "The Descent"

And we all know how that movie actually scared me!

Now the stupid judges didn't like this one, but we all know they're morons - I really think she did a great job at "being scary but not losing her model" She's still pretty and this photo could sell.


The way this picture feels so uncomfortable, so raw, so harsh!

Her mouth looks like it's just opening up for something to eat - like your soul!

I heart CariDee!!!!

So whose left in the final three??

Well let's see!

There's perfection, also known as CariDee also known as MY FIRST CHOICE PICK!!

Kicking yourself in the ass now, aren't you Robyn?!

Drag Queen my ass Nigel "I'm a pussy that can't take a GREAT joke" Barker, I hope when CariDee wins she slaps you in the ass and grinds up and down on you where leather chaps!

Oh man, when CariDee wins that'll be two winners in a row for Darek - the closest I've come to winning things in a long long time!

I MEAN COME ON! LOOK AT THIS PERFECTION! She's been in the bottom two for the last two weeks and why? To throw us off.

That's the smartest they can be. The ONLY thing that's stopping me from collecting on me bet now is if the judges just pick Eugena (she's the only one left that's 18) for the age factor. But 20 years old is not too bad of a number.

P.S. This was also a faboulous pic of Amanda, I was surprised!

WHOSE THIS?! Eugena AKA my second pick?! Oh Robyn, this must utterly blow for you!

You have to admit though - best picture out of all the bull fighting pictures, but not hard to say that, with CariDee's eyes closed, Melrose looking like the mother of the female lead from The Corpse Bride, and the twins and their awkward (too awkward) poses.

But all in all, brava girl! Now let's just some ProActiv on you and you're set!

And whose last in the final three? Melrose. And damnit, why is she such a good model? Thank god you're 23 - you're the Jade of the group and it's wonderful!
But wait...where are Robyn's picks?
They're not here anymore; they're all gone.
I'm telling you Robyn - age is everything!!!
18-20 MAX, I don't think there has been a winner older than 20 in any of the seasons and we all know the first season doesn't count!
I know I sound smug but I'm on such a high right now, my exam went pretty good, I finally talked to Travis after so long of not talking to him, and I'm getting over my cold/flu.
Can't wait for that free meal Robyn :)