Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Tribute to Ana and ONLY ANA!


This is Ana Katrina Coranel Pastolero born on February 18th 1984. She's an Aquarius. Usually Ana can be seen doing one of three things - eating, sleeping or laughing. Today she wasn't doing the latter :(
So, as her appointed Kuya ('cause her rabbit of a mother couldn't pop out a boy before her, so she's only an Ate) it is my duty to make her laugh, laugh, laugh her problems away.
So for you Ana:
  1. Sweet Meat is a terrific idea!
  2. Vegetables are disgusting unless cooked, nay, deep fried and then re-deep fried in lard that's been deep-fried in oil.
  3. Peas? What are peas?
  4. Squirrels and other fat and therefore adorable rodents and pests don't mind being chased; in fact they LOVE IT!
  5. Jewish men, particularly the red-haired kind, have small penises and therefore it's ok to laugh and ridicule them until our faces are blue from lack of oxygen and we suffer permanent brain damage due to this lack of oxygen - 'cause in the end, red-haired jewish men still have small penises!
  6. We didn't have Birkemoe for CIV 312/314 - we had Grabinsky and Pressnail, in fact, we genetically melded them together in a lab right beside Birkemoe's, where a terrible explosion occurred. Luckily we survived, and the end results was Grabinsky/Pressnail - those next door however, died. Painfully.
  7. Birkemoe, before the explosion, was fired, and relieved of his pension, so now he's poor, and alone cuz his twin-like wife divorced him and he stepped on his glasses. He'll never host a field trip ever again.
  8. You can survive off of bananas and yogurt and dust and lint.
  9. Your house is a mansion, filled with exotic tunnels and chunnels that you haven't yet explored.
  10. It's fun to make fun of fobby chinese guys

And Lastly,

11. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met; remember you CAN and WILL do this and piss on his grave when you do! :)

Hope that helped monkey

4 comments:

said...

Even though you got my birthday wrong.

:)

You're still really awesome and the only reason I've smiled (Really smiled) this entire day.
And seeing as how it's 11:52 pm...score! just made it.

ps. your birthday is Oct 21st 1983?

Anonymous said...

you are funny darek.
one of a kind! :)
-jl

ana (psst...darek rocks!) said...

:) I have blogged AAAAAALLLLL about you. I'm sure I mentioned your name a couple times. Maybe like 7.

Adam would like to meet you. You know. Sooner or later.

Hey! Do you have plans for...oh right...Cuba.

Anonymous said...

red-haired!

jewish!

small-penised!!

bwahaha!!!

eek!