Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Bye Bye Motherfucking Kidney!


So tomorrow is the big motherfucking day! I'm finally getting rid of the kidney that doesn't let me sleep on my sides and causes me so much fucking discomfort if I sit/stand/walk for too long. But this post is about tomorrow - it's about how great today was!

So it started in the morning - I didn't wake up exhausted - I didn't wake up peppy and full of energy like the freaks of nature known as Christine and Jamie - but I wasn't exhausted and therefore not a grumpy bitch. I could even hold a conversation with my Dad!

At work, I didn't do too much box-cutting, mostly putting together orders, assembling stuff, and then I was surprised with the greatest surprise (at that point of the day) ever! My co-workers bought me pizza!!! FOUR OF THEM! It was so delicious - new favourite pizza is chicken and bruscetta - mmmmmmmm, I'm looking at you Jen; I know that sounds most appealing to you :)

So after the little pizza party, I learned that my boss Hanna is a lot cooler than I thought before - she speaks fluent German, her daughter is living in Switzerland, married to a Swiss guy and Hanna has an apartment back in Switzerland, which she plans on moving back to, when she retires.

I then got a little sad, everyone at work was sad to see me leave. Three people told me they would pray for me and Rena (the Alpha Female) along with Illiyn (the woman I thought was really mean at first but turned out to be so-so nice (notice the hyphen)) and then a surprise hug from Janita and Hanna. Sooooooo much hugging! ALL FOR ME!

So I get home, shower and change and then me and Bren go see Snakes on a Plane; it is, by far, the best movie of the summer. Motherfucking terrific!!!!!

But before Snakes on a Plane, I was pleasantly surprised by my best friend's gift to me -

This is one of those gifts that just goes to show you how great a friend can be at what should be his best friend's scariest moment in life - I burst out laughing when I saw the diagram and read what he wrote on the shirt. It completely made my day, I could have had my surgery then and there and would have it with a smile on my face. Thanks Brendan - one of the greatest gifts I've ever received.

What's written on the shirt you may ask?
...
..
.

Do you all see what I mean now? Who rocks the motherfucking hizzie? B-man does, that's who motherfucken does!
So after Snakes on a Plane, which again, greatest movie of the summer, Bren treated me to Denny's, we finally finished our talk that was interrupted at Crystal's farewell party and laughed it up, wondering why Avril doesn't do TYS (Things You Said) anymore and how it's left our lives a little empty. Austrailia is now something I would like to do next year and Denny's gives you CRAZY itis.
After Denny's it was time for Second Cup, where we ended the night talking about Transformers the Movie and how much we absolutely LOVED Beasties and Beast Machines; I learned he loved Dinobot and he learned I love Black Arachnia.
Thank you to all who have given me best wishes and prayers during this time, my surgery is at 11:45am tomorrow at St. Michael's Hospital.
To conclude I leave you with some of the greatest quotes said by Samuel L. Jackson - the NEW Chuck Norris. That's right, Chuck Norris is out and Samuel L. Jackson is in:
"I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" - Snakes on a Plane
"That's a Duck, not a Dick" - The Long Kiss Goodnight
"English Motherfucker?! Do you speak it?!?" - Pulp Fiction
"Geena Davis: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?
Samuel L. Jackson: I took lessons!" - The Long Kiss Goodnight (that one was for you travis)

And the best quote said by Samuel L. Jackson:
"If you're gonna mouth off sir, I remind that if you go to jail and you will go to jail, you will be assfucked for the next three years and if by some miracle you are not charged and don't go to jail, I will personally hire someone to assfuck you for the next three years, so if you're an assfuckin' fan, I suggest you go and mouthoff to me" - The Long Kiss Goodnight
To all my dear friends who have prayed for me, kept me in your thoughts and worried for me, I love you all from the bottom of my heart; thank you for being there, I'll see you guys in a few days, hopefully sooner :)

3 comments:

Kimberly said...

Darek, you're in my prayers!

Hope the surgery is an absolute success, which I have 100% faith that it will be.

Travis said...

"I would have got here sooner but I was busy thinking up that ham on rye line." - Samuel L. Jackson, The Long Kiss Goodnight

And also, I can't say much else, clearly Bren is the best friend ever, that shirt is just too sweet.

Darek/Darciu/Dariusz said...

Thanks Kimberly! My God, I haven't spoken to you in ages!!

I hope all is going well with you miss thang :)